One of my favorite movies is “What Women Want”. If you haven’t seen it, the story line is Mel Gibson plays a guy in an advertising agency and is basically a “womanizer”. He gets hit by lightning and suddenly, every woman he encounters, he hears that woman’s thoughts. He is walking down the sidewalk of New York City, passing so many women, and hears every single one of their thoughts. It’s a very funny scene and shows how many thoughts we have in our heads, and some of these thoughts are not supportive.
I heard a woman speaker say one time, “If we spoke to our loved ones the way we speak to ourselves in our heads, we wouldn’t have any family or friends.” That resonated with me so long ago. I was used to beating myself up, condemning and criticizing myself. I had the impression that if we were our own worst critics, then when others criticize us, it doesn’t hurt as much. I was completely wrong. I remember years ago when I was working on getting some help to determine if one of my sons had ADD or ADHD. Every time I ended the session with this counselor, she would remind me, “Be gentle with yourself.” It was such a foreign idea. Be gentle with myself? What does that even mean? How am I treating myself if I am not being gentle.
The truth is most of us are not gentle with ourselves. There are things we continually beat ourselves up about: whether it’s our physical features, our talents or lack of, or relationships or lack of, and many women tend to take on the guilt or shame that others want to give them. We are not enough. We are failures. If we just, try harder.
There is a deeper truth than how we think or treat ourselves. This truth is: each one of us is uniquely, beautifully made by God who loves us. This Love does not require you to improve or correct or strive. This Love simply delights in you. There is no one else like you, and there never will be another you. As Pope Benedict said, “We are not some casual and meaningless product of evolution. Each of us is the result of a thought of God. Each of us is willed, each of us is loved each of us is necessary.” (1)
Not only are you loved because of your personality, temperament, talents, gifts, and strengths, even your faults and weaknesses, but also you are loved because of your body. You were created good and therefore your body is good. God designed you. God delights in your female body. Your female body is needed in the world.
One of my greatest joys is to share the knowledge of what a gift a woman’s body and her reproductive cycle is to a woman and to the world. I teach and coach women to notice what her body is telling her by the quiet signs she has always had but never knew how to listen. I show her how to “be gentle with yourself”. And I guide her to use her body for the purpose it was intended. As my young clients learn and grow, there are moments of healing the wounds that we have given ourselves because of all those thoughts we have told ourselves, or wounds that others have given us. And there are empowering moments when the language of her body is heard and honored. Every woman is unique. Every cycle is unique. And it is beautiful.
(1) Pope Benedict, Homily at Mass on the Occasion of the Beginning of his Petrine Ministry, St. Peter's Square, April 25, 2005
If you desire to learn more about your own unique beauty, you can contact me at:
jane@wisdomwellnesscoaching.net or at my website: www.wisdomwellnesscoaching.net
You can find me on social media: IG: Mama_Jane_25