In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus asks His disciples who people are saying who he is. Then He asks them directly who they say He is. Simon, through the Holy Spirit, proclaims that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God. (Matthew 16:16)
At some point, Jesus will ask each and every one of us this same question. Some people will acknowledge his healing powers, his wonderful teachings, and his goodness. Some people will say he was crazy, or that he never really existed. But some, like Peter, will acknowledge that Jesus truly is Christ, the Son of the Living God, the Redeemer of the world. Father John Riccardo, in his book Rescued, refers to Jesus as the “Ambush Predator”. This is an animal that plays dead until his enemy comes upon him, and the enemy is ambushed. Father Riccardo could only use this term because he knows Jesus.
In this day and age of social media, with followers, likes, and comments, many times we think we know someone, but really do we? We know what they want to show us: the perfect house, the perfect family, the perfect dress - “Why yes, my life is amazing because I just showed you all the pictures to prove what I wanted to tell you.” And researchers are now telling us how destructive this can be. First, many of these social media posts are not set in reality, so when someone who has appeared to have their life all together on social media, takes their own life or another tragedy happens in their life, most of us can’t believe it. Second, many times when we are scrolling through social media we become depressed because our own lives aren’t as amazing as all these other people's. Social media is a place where we can create a fantasy and where we can base our own value from what others say.
- Who do you say I am?
- How many likes did I receive?
Our desire to know who we are is fundamental to our existence. But when we base our value and dignity on what others say about us, then we are searching outside of ourselves. Jesus wasn’t asking these questions to his disciples so he could base his own value and dignity on what others say about him. He knows who He is. It’s what makes Him so attractive! And the best part is He knows who you truly are too!
One of my favorite scenes in THE CHOSEN is when Mary Magdalene, who is possessed by a demon and is called ‘Lilith” meets Jesus outside the tavern. Jesus calls her by her name, Mary. She turns, almost as if it was a whisper in her soul, someone forgotten, who she can’t remember. If you haven’t seen this episode, I won’t spoil it for you! But many of us, like Mary Magdalene, have forgotten who we are. Or maybe we have never been told the truth, but simply lies about who we are.
As a little girl, I was cute and happy and everyone loved me. “Baby Jane” was my nickname and I never met a stranger because I liked everyone. As I grew up, began to develop, I wasn’t “cute” anymore! I couldn’t be dressed up and put on display. Because I was the youngest, many times the conversations were over my head, or others expected me to master tasks that they had already learned. And so, the messages I received were that I am not very smart or very pretty, therefore what value do I have? There is something wrong with me and if people find that out, they won’t really love me or even like me.
Fortunately, I met Jesus who filled me with His love and acceptance. His love was so overpowering and intense that I couldn’t put it into words. But I knew I was loved down in the depth of my soul. I didn’t know very many young people who had experienced this amazing love. I didn’t find many adults who acted like they knew Who Love is. And so, I began to listen to the world again. If I act this way, people will like me, if I hang out with these people then I will have value. Deep down inside, I forgot who I was and therefore happiness and joy eluded me.
As I grew, I decided I wanted to seek Jesus and those who love Him. This led me to a path my family couldn’t understand. “Don’t be a Jesus freak.” “You are Catholic. This isn’t how Catholics act.” I began to search and learn what Catholics do, how they think, how they pray, how they know Jesus. The interesting thing I learned was the way I was responding to Jesus’ love for me, it is exactly how Catholics acted. This is how many great saints responded to Jesus and His Love. I found friends among the Doctors and Saints of the Catholic Church. St. Alphonsus Liguori, St. Louis Marie de Montfort, St. Thérèse of Lisieux, St. Margaret Mary Alacoque to name a few. And there are the martyrs who were willing to die rather than deny Jesus Christ: Jose Sanchez del Rio, St. Philomena, St. Tarcisius. Like someone who can’t stop talking about a certain rock band or football player, I love to talk about the saints and how they loved Jesus. They all, like St. Peter, proclaim, “You are Christ, the Son of the Living God.”
One day, as I was meditating on this Gospel passage, in my imagination, I turned to Our Blessed Lord and asked, “Jesus, who do you say I am?” He looked at me with such love and happiness. “Finally, my child, you come to Me.” I heard Him say in my soul. It was a profound moment. The voices in my head telling me who I was, and what that meant began disappearing. The doubts about myself, my capacities, my talents, and even my weaknesses and faults all came into focus based on Him. Deep joy came over me as I understood that God willed me into being and He delights in me.
The mystery about this is that unlike a family, or a group, where one or two people may be considered “the favorites”, Jesus considers each one of us as His favorite, as if He only created us. His love for me takes nothing away from His love for you. A youth minister friend of mine taught me a saying, “We are made by Love, for Love, and to Love.”
So, we must go back to the source: Jesus Christ. We will only know ourselves when we come to know Him. Many times we are wounded, and torn up because of the world. We are shackled by the chains of lies the world has told us. But, as Father Riccardo reminds us: Jesus is the ambush predator, who comes to break those chains. He is on a rescue mission. He desires to have a relationship with you because He delights in you. You are so uniquely beautiful! You were made by Love, for Love, and to Love.