There are some women I meet who stay with me long after our coaching sessions are over.
Ruby is one of those women.
As a Billings Ovulation Method instructor and
Catholic Womanhood Coach, I've had the privilege of walking with many couples through Natural Family Planning. Some are preparing for marriage. Others are trying to avoid pregnancy. Still others desperately long to hold a baby in their arms.
Ruby came to me carrying a heart that had become very heavy.
She and her husband had spent years trying to conceive another child. They had experienced two miscarriages. Every month brought another wave of hope followed by another disappointment. Like so many women, she began asking the question that quietly echoes through countless hearts:
"What's wrong with me?"
I've heard those words more times than I can count.
Not always out loud.
Sometimes they're hidden behind tears. Sometimes behind anger. Sometimes behind silence.
But they're there.
When a woman begins believing her body has failed her, she often begins believing that God has too.
That is exactly where Ruby found herself.
She told me that as the years passed, her heart slowly grew cold. She still believed in God, but the closeness she once felt with Him had faded. Every pregnancy announcement hurt. Every negative pregnancy test chipped away at her hope. She even began considering IVF because she simply couldn't imagine another way.
I don't judge women for reaching that place.
Infertility is a heavy cross.
Waiting is a heavy cross.
Repeated disappointment is a heavy cross.
When you've prayed for something holy—a child—and month after month nothing changes, it's understandable that your heart becomes weary.
I know.
Years ago, Steve and I also carried the cross of infertility. I know what it's like to wonder why everyone else seems to become pregnant while you continue waiting. I know what it's feels like to look at a chart that appears "perfect" and still not conceive.
That experience changed me forever.
It taught me that Natural Family Planning isn't simply about fertility.
Natural Family Planning is about discipleship.
When Ruby and her husband began learning the Billings Ovulation Method, I watched something beautiful happen.
Yes, they were learning how to recognize fertility.
Yes, they were learning to chart correctly.
Yes, they were learning how to work with her body instead of guessing.
But something even more important was taking place.
They were learning to work together.
One of my favorite parts of teaching couples is watching husbands become genuinely curious about their wives.
Questions that once never would have been asked suddenly become normal.
"How are you feeling today?"
"What are you noticing?"
"Where are you in your cycle?"
To someone outside Natural Family Planning, those questions might sound ordinary.
To me, they're sacred.
Because they tell me something has shifted.
The husband is no longer standing on the sidelines.
He's participating.
He's listening.
He's learning.
He's carrying the burden alongside his wife instead of asking her to carry it alone.
Ruby's husband did exactly that.
Every session I could see them becoming more united.
They weren't just collecting information.
They were building communication.
They were learning patience.
They were learning trust.
They were becoming teammates.
Natural Family Planning Is A Team Sport.
You can't practice it well if only one person is involved.
The beauty isn't simply that you learn when fertility occurs.
The beauty is that every month your marriage invites another conversation.
Every month you ask together:
"What is God asking of us this month?"
That question changes everything.
Sometimes the answer is to remain open to life.
Sometimes the answer is to postpone pregnancy for serious reasons.
Either way, husband and wife are discerning together instead of living separate lives under the same roof.
That unity is one of God's greatest gifts through Natural Family Planning.
As Ruby's instructor, I also had the privilege of walking with her through another kind of healing.
Ruby healed the wounds from the babies she had lost.
For years, those miscarriages had simply been something terrible that happened.
But grief needs acknowledgment.
Those babies mattered.
Their lives mattered.
Their existence mattered.
As we spoke about mourning them, honoring them, even giving them names, I watched something soften inside her.
The walls around her heart began to crack.
God wasn't condemning her.
He was inviting her closer.
That's what He does so often in our suffering.
God Doe Not Delights In Our Pain. He Desires Our Hearts.
Sometimes the greatest miracle isn't the pregnancy.
Sometimes it's the healing that happens long before the pregnancy ever comes.
Then one day my phone rang.
It was Ruby.
I still remember the excitement in her voice.
"Mama Jane..."
"I'm pregnant."
I don't know that I'll ever get tired of hearing those words.
I rejoiced with her because I knew everything that phone call represented.
Years of waiting.
Years of tears.
Years of learning.
Years of trusting.
Years of surrendering.
And then...
God Answered, But He Wasn't Finished.
Not long after, I received another phone call.
She was pregnant again.
I laughed out loud.
Only God writes stories like that.
Today Ruby and her husband have the beautiful family they prayed for.
But if you ask me what makes me happiest, it isn't simply that they conceived.
It's who they became along the way.
They became a husband and wife who learned to communicate.
They became a couple who understood the language of her body.
They became a family whose faith was restored after years of discouragement.
Ruby often tells women, "Don't lose hope."
I smile every time I hear those words because I remember the woman who once believed hope had run out.
God didn't simply give her children.
God Gave Her Himself.
Perhaps that's where you find yourself today.
Maybe you've been trying to conceive for months—or years.
Maybe you're grieving a miscarriage.
Maybe you've begun believing your body is broken.
Maybe your relationship with God feels distant because you've grown tired of praying the same prayer.
If that's you, I want you to hear this from someone who has walked this road herself.
Your body is not your enemy.
Your worth is not determined by a pregnancy test.
And God has not forgotten you.
I can't promise that every couple I teach will conceive.
Only God holds that mystery.
But I can promise this:
When you begin understanding the body God created instead of fearing it... when you and your husband learn to work together instead of against each other... and when you invite God into every step of the journey... something beautiful always grows.
Sometimes it's a baby.
Sometimes it's a stronger marriage.
Sometimes it's a deeper prayer life.
Often, it's all three.
That is why I continue doing this work.
Not because I can create miracles.
But because I get to stand beside couples while God does what only He can do.
And there is no greater joy than watching hearts return to Him.
How Can I Walk Today With You?