There was a moment during our conversation with Anne that brought tears to my eyes.
And if you listen to the podcast, you’ll hear it.
I was talking about my work as a labor and delivery nurse and the incredible privilege I have had of walking with women in some of the most vulnerable moments of their lives.
People sometimes think labor and delivery must be all happiness and babies.
It isn't.
I meet women in joy and in fear. In anticipation and disappointment. In strength and exhaustion. Sometimes in tremendous grief.
And yet, after all these years, I still consider it an incredible gift that I get to stand beside a woman and remind her:
“You can do this. You’ve got the skill.”
Maybe that's why this conversation with my dear friend Anne and Mama Jane touched me so deeply.
Because underneath everything we discussed about women's health—movement, nutrition, mental health, hormones, aging, creativity and spirituality—there was another message running through the entire conversation:
Women need women.
We need women who will remind us who we are when we've forgotten.
Women who will walk beside us when our bodies change.
Women who understand that sometimes we don't need someone to fix us.
We need someone to say:
I see you.
I've walked this road too.
Come sit with me.
The Sanctity of a Woman's Body
Anne shared a beautiful story that I can't stop thinking about.
Years ago, she was sitting in her gynecologist's office waiting for results after a procedure. There had been concern about ovarian cancer.
While she waited, she found herself staring at one of those anatomical posters we've probably all seen a hundred times—the uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes, the intricate design of a woman's body.
But this time she really saw it.
She became overwhelmed with emotion.
Anne described seeing:
“The sanctity of a woman's body.”
And then she said:
“It's the vessel that we have to do God's work.”
What a beautiful way to look at our bodies.
Not as problems to manage.
Not as things that need to look a certain way.
Not as machines we're disappointed in when they no longer perform the way they did at 25.
Our bodies are gifts.
And they will change.
Our bodies at 25 are not our bodies at 45.
Our needs during pregnancy are different from our needs while breastfeeding.
Perimenopause brings another transition.
Menopause brings another.
And then we continue aging, changing, learning and—hopefully—growing in wisdom.
As Anne said:
“Every decade is new discovery, new growth, and aging well is not a happenstance.”
I love that.
Every decade has something to teach us.
We Were Never Supposed to Do This Alone
Mama Jane and I have often talked about wanting Cycles & Sanctity to feel like a kind of red tent.
A place where women can gather and talk about the things women experience.
Our bodies.
Our cycles.
Motherhood.
Breastfeeding.
Hormones.
Marriage.
Emotions.
Faith.
Menopause.
Aging.
The joys—and the really hard stuff.
We don't sit behind these microphones because we have perfectly mastered womanhood.
Far from it!
We're saying:
“We've walked this walk. Let me tell you what the path looks like.”
There is something incredibly healing about knowing another woman understands.
Anne said something that captured this beautifully:
“Nobody knows women more than women.”
And later:
“Women that support other women is the strongest force in change in our society.”
That support matters more than we sometimes realize.
Sometimes It's Just a Hand on Her Shoulder
As we were talking about community, I immediately thought about nursing.
Sometimes a new mother is struggling to breastfeed.
She's tired.
She's hormonal.
She's worried that she isn't doing it right.
And sometimes I can come beside her, put my hands on her shoulders, rub her back and say:
“Hey, you're doing this. Look at this. You're doing it.”
It's not some enormous intervention.
It's human connection.
It's another woman saying:
“Hey, Mama, you got this.”
Those moments matter.
A hug matters.
A phone call matters.
Sitting beside someone matters.
Dropping off a meal matters.
Sending the card instead of just thinking about sending the card matters.
Asking your friend how she's really doing matters.
Because we are not meant to be isolated.
Caring for Yourself Isn't Selfish
This conversation also reminded me how easily women put themselves last.
We become mothers and wives and employees and caregivers and volunteers.
We just keep going.
Anne described it perfectly:
“You just run because that's what a good woman does.”
Oh, do I know that woman!
But eventually our bodies remind us that we are human.
We need sleep.
We need nourishment.
We need movement.
We need prayer.
We need friendship.
We need rest.
And we need to stop believing that caring for ourselves takes something away from the people we love.
I shared during our conversation that when I began consistently moving my body, I realized:
“This isn't selfish. This is self-love. I need to be my best for my family, for my work, for all the things that I'm doing in this life.”
Taking care of ourselves allows us to keep giving.
Not from an empty place.
But from a place that has actually been replenished.
Body, Mind and Soul Belong Together
One thing I loved about having all three of us together is that we each approach women's health from a slightly different place.
Anne has spent decades helping women care for their bodies through movement, wellness and creativity.
Mama Jane helps women understand their interior lives—the thoughts, beliefs and emotions influencing how they show up.
And I've spent decades beside women through pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, motherhood and women's health.
Different gifts.
Same woman.
Because you cannot neatly separate her body from her mind or her soul.
Mama Jane said:
“The body makes visible what is invisible.”
Our thoughts are invisible.
Our emotions are invisible.
Our interior life is invisible.
But eventually what is happening within us begins showing itself on the outside.
That's why women's wellness needs to be about more than the number on a scale.
It's about the whole woman.
Who Are Your Women?
There was one question from this conversation that I hope every woman reading this will ask herself:
Who is my community?
Who are the women I can call?
Who will pray with me?
Who encourages me to take care of myself?
Who celebrates my growth?
Who can sit with me in suffering without immediately trying to make it disappear?
And just as importantly:
Whose woman am I?
Who knows she can call me?
Who needs my encouragement?
Who needs a card in her mailbox?
Who needs me to tell her, “You're doing it. Look at you. You're doing it.”
Mama Jane asked it this way:
“Who is my community, and how do I support them, and how do they support me?”
That's a question worth sitting with.
Because perhaps part of caring for our health is allowing ourselves to be cared for.
There Is Beauty in Every Decade
If you're in your 20s, take care of the woman you're becoming.
If you're in your 30s and running from work to babies to school pickup to dinner, remember that your body matters too.
If you're in your 40s and wondering what in the world your hormones are doing, you're not alone.
If you're navigating menopause, your womanhood isn't disappearing.
And if you're moving into your 60s, 70s or beyond, there is still more life to live, wisdom to give and joy to discover.
Anne said something near the end of our conversation that I thought was absolutely beautiful:
“In every decade... we gain wisdom, we gain strength, we gain depth.”
And then:
“There's nothing more beautiful than an aging woman that is healthy.”
Amen.
Our goal isn't to desperately hold onto the woman we were at 25.
It's to care for and celebrate the woman God has created us to be today.
Move your body.
Eat food that nourishes you.
Drink your water.
Get some sleep.
Manage your stress.
Pray.
Create something.
Call your friend.
Send the card.
Give the hug.
Ask for help.
And when another woman is struggling, pull up a chair and make room for her in your red tent.
Remind her that she doesn't have to do this alone.
Because we were never meant to walk through womanhood by ourselves.
We need God.
And I believe one of the beautiful ways He cares for His daughters is by giving us one another.
—Mama Vicki