Have you ever looked in the mirror and quietly asked yourself, “Who am I now?”
Maybe your house feels a little too quiet, the routines that once gave your days rhythm have changed, and the woman you used to be feels like a distant memory.
You love God, your family, and your faith, yet somewhere between caring for everyone else and adjusting to life’s transitions, you sense a loss of identity.
If that sounds familiar, friend—you are not alone.
This season of life, whether we call it midlife, perimenopause, or simply “the next chapter,” is not a crisis; it’s an invitation.
It’s an invitation to rediscover who you are in Christ and to become the woman God created you to be.
That’s what Mama Vicki and I explored in our latest conversation, and I want to share some of my reflections with you here.
Learning to See Ourselves as God’s Masterpiece
One verse that has changed everything for me is Ephesians 2:10:
“For we are God’s masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
I love that word—MASTERPIECE.
It makes me stop and breathe.
When I first began praying with this verse, I imagined how my mom looks at me—with that kind of love that only a mother has for her child. Now multiply that by infinity, and that’s how God sees each of us.
He doesn’t see our wrinkles, our messy kitchens, or our long list of “should-have-done-betters.”
He sees beauty, intention, and purpose. He delights in the woman He handcrafted. And when I forget that truth, I picture Him whispering, “You are my masterpiece, Jane. I don’t make junk.”
I first heard that little phrase—“God doesn’t make junk”—decades ago on a Marriage Encounter retreat. It still makes me smile, because it’s simple and true.
If God is good, then everything He creates is good.
Including you.
When We Feel Lost
Still, there are days when I forget. I get busy, overwhelmed, or doubtful. I fall into the trap of comparison or self-criticism. In those moments, I’ve learned to pause and pray:
“Come, Holy Spirit. I am lost. Show me the next step.”
You don’t need fancy words to pray. God already knows your heart. Sometimes the most powerful prayer is a sigh, a tear, or a quiet, “Help me.”
When I was younger, I thought holiness meant doing everything right—checking off boxes, never faltering. Now I realize holiness is often found in the stillness, when we stop striving and let God love us right where we are.
If you can, take your journal to Adoration.
Sit before Jesus and let His gaze rest on you.
Write down whatever rises up in your heart. You’re allowed to bring your pen, your questions, and even your confusion.
Sometimes I whisper to Jesus as I write, and I imagine Him smiling and saying, “I’m right here.”
Rediscovering Identity in the Midlife Transition
For many women, this stage of life brings major changes—our bodies shift, our roles in the family evolve, and the pace of life feels unpredictable.
I’ll be honest: when my kids began leaving home, I felt a wave of fear. For years, I’d been the mom who juggled activities, packed lunches, and drove carpool. Who would I be when that season ended?
Maybe you’ve felt that too—that ache of wondering what’s next when the children don’t need you quite as much.
I used to joke with my husband, Steve, that we were like two ships passing in the night during the busy years. When our nest began to empty, I worried we’d drift apart.
But by God’s grace, this new chapter has surprised me. After 39 years of marriage, I’m learning that love deepens when we give it space to grow. It’s not about starting over—it’s about rediscovering each other and ourselves.
Still, I’ve seen many friends struggle during this same season. Bodies change, hormones fluctuate, and emotions can run high.
Some feel restless or even panicked, tempted to throw everything up in the air and begin again. But often the real invitation is not to start over—it’s to go deeper. To look within and let God remind you who you already are.
Comparison and Confidence
One of the biggest thieves of peace in midlife is comparison.
We scroll through social media and see “perfect” homes, marriages, or ministries, and suddenly we feel small. I’ve done it, too—looked at another woman and thought, “She’s got it all together. Why can’t I be more like her?”
But the truth is, comparison distorts our vision.
God doesn’t want you to be someone else’s reflection; He wants you to shine with your unique light.
A coach once told me, “Stop watching everyone else’s path. Pay attention to what God is writing in yours.” That advice stuck.
When I focus on learning rather than comparing—on growth instead of perfection—I find peace again.
It’s a space for women to rediscover themselves in community. We’ll journey from loss of identity to rediscovered self, from self-doubt to confidence in Christ, and from confusion about our mission to clarity about our calling.
We’ve run a few small-group Betas already, and the feedback has been beautiful. Women share that for the first time in years they feel seen, understood, and confident in who they are. That’s the fruit of walking together in faith.
Understanding Our Rhythms
As women, our physical and emotional rhythms are part of God’s design. Whether you’re still cycling or have moved beyond that stage, your body still follows natural patterns. I often tell women: awareness is half the battle.
There are days when we feel energized and creative—those “I can conquer the world” days.
And there are days when everything feels heavy and slow. Understanding where we are in our cycle, or even aligning with the moon’s phases, helps us show ourselves grace.
When I notice I’m more tired or fragile, I remind myself: That makes sense.
It’s not failure—it’s simply a signal to rest, to regroup, to care for the body God gave me.
A Saint’s Perspective on Becoming
One of my favorite role models for this topic is Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross—also known as Edith Stein.
She was a brilliant philosopher and a Jewish atheist who converted to Catholicism after searching for truth. Later, she became a Carmelite nun and ultimately gave her life at Auschwitz.
Her story reminds me that “becoming” is a lifelong process. She once said,
“The world doesn’t need what a woman does; it needs what a woman is.”
Isn’t that powerful? God doesn’t simply need our productivity—He desires our presence. Our being. That’s where the feminine genius shines most brightly.
Saint Teresa Benedicta discovered her identity in Christ even in the midst of suffering. Her witness invites us to do the same—to remember that our deepest calling is to become saints.
Your Invitation to Reflect
If you’re reading this and nodding along, I invite you to take a moment with these three journal questions from our episode:
Who do I believe I am right now, and how do I describe myself?
Where do I feel like I’m falling short of becoming the woman God calls me to be?
What would change in my life if I had clarity, confidence, and support in this season?
Bring these to prayer. Take them to Adoration. Don’t rush to answer. Let the Holy Spirit speak gently in the stillness.
Closing Prayer
Let’s end as we did on the podcast, by turning our hearts to prayer:
"Lord Jesus, You have called each of us by name.
Help us to trust Your plan and to step boldly into becoming the women You created us to be. Like Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, may we follow You faithfully in every season of life. Fill us with Your Holy Spirit, and give us peace, courage, and joy as we grow into the masterpiece You designed. Amen."
Friend, you are not behind. You are not forgotten. You are becoming—and God delights in every step of your journey.
If your heart is longing for clarity and community, join us for the
BECOME Master Class beginning October 27. Together we’ll rediscover who we are, strengthen our confidence in Christ, and learn to live this next chapter with joy.
Let’s become the women God is calling us to be—one prayer, one breath, one yes at a time.