Hey there, beautiful Catholic couples and curious souls! I want to talk with you about something powerful, something that touches not only our marriages but our very souls. We're diving deep today into the question:
How is Natural Family Planning truly free?
Now, I know that “freedom” might not be the first word that comes to mind when we talk about abstinence or cycle tracking or cervical mucus. But bear with me, because what I’ve come to learn in my own marriage and through years of coaching and teaching is this: NFP is not a burden. It's an invitation to true freedom—the kind of freedom that only love and trust can bring.
That Homily That Changed Everything
Years ago—over 25 now—I heard a priest (who happened to be an extended family member) preach a homily on Independence Day weekend. In the midst of all the American flag-waving and fireworks, he had the guts to talk about Natural Family Planning from the pulpit. He tied it directly to true freedom, and I remember thinking, “Yes! This is it!” Some folks around me were offended, but I was fired up.
Because here’s the thing: True freedom isn’t doing whatever we want, whenever we want. That’s chaos. That’s confusion. That’s candy before dinner and calling it nutrition.
True freedom is the ability to choose the good.
And that’s what NFP invites us into: a space where couples discern together, communicate deeply, and choose what is good—not just for themselves, but for each other and for their family.
But Mama Jane, It’s Hard…
Of course it is.
Anything worth doing is hard. That’s why I like to say that freedom isn’t free—and I don’t mean that in a military or political sense here (though it applies). I mean that true freedom —the kind that transforms your marriage and builds virtue —requires discipline, self-mastery, and a great deal of trust in God.
When we choose NFP, we’re not choosing “ease.”
We’re choosing love, responsibility, and reverence.
We’re choosing to say:
I love all of you, including your fertility.
I’m willing to delay gratification for a greater good.
I believe in communication and cooperation, not control.
That’s the freedom that builds saints.
Stewardship, Not Control
Many of us grew up believing that controlling our bodies and our futures was the goal. But God didn’t give us fertility to control—it’s not a wild animal we have to tame. He gave it to us to steward, and NFP teaches us to do that with reverence and wisdom.
As I often remind my coaching clients, "Your body is not a machine. It’s a masterpiece. And we honor it when we learn its language, respect its signals, and cooperate with it instead of overriding it.”
Contraception tries to say, “I love you—except your fertility.” But love never says “except.” Love says, “all of you.”
Communication Is the Superpower
Here’s something contraception can’t do: it can’t teach you to talk.
NFP, on the other hand, requires couples to check in. Every month becomes a mini retreat: “Where are we at? What are we discerning? What does God want for our family right now?”
Even if you’ve been married 5 years or 25, those conversations matter. They keep your hearts connected, your trust strong, and your love rooted in something real.
And yes, sometimes they’re hard. Sometimes you’re not on the same page. But alignment comes from effort, and effort is the proof of love.
It’s Not Insurance—It’s Formation
I’ve heard people say, “Well, NFP doesn’t guarantee a perfect marriage.” And no, it doesn’t. But here’s what it does do:
That’s why couples who practice NFP have a dramatically lower divorce rate. Not because NFP is magic, but because it forms you in virtue.
And that’s what sainthood is made of, isn’t it?
Real Talk from Real Life
I’ve walked this road in my own marriage. We've abstained while my husband was deployed overseas. I’ve tracked cycles through postpartum and perimenopause. I’ve celebrated the luteal phase like a honeymoon (yes, you should too!). I’ve wept when the chart looked good, but there was no baby.
This is real life. And NFP teaches you how to walk through real life with God in the center.
There were times Steve and I had to discern seriously. After my pulmonary embolism, we had to choose avoiding pregnancy after 19 years of marriage. We had to practice abstinence while living in the same house—and you better believe it required daily surrender. But we were free.
Free to choose the good. Free to love fully. Free to trust God.
That’s not bondage, friends. That’s a holy path.
The Gift of Fertility
One of the biggest lies the world sells us is that fertility is a problem.
That it’s something to suppress, to fear, to fight. But God gave us our fertility as a gift—not just to make babies, but to make us.
Fertility shapes us into people of patience, courage, and joy. Whether you're struggling with infertility, hoping to postpone, or joyfully open to life—there is grace available for your exact situation.
And here’s the kicker: even when you “mess up” or don’t follow the rules perfectly, you’re still held in God’s mercy. You’re still invited into His plan. Because He’s not just about the rules. He’s about the relationship.
A Call to Action
So, if you're still with me and your heart is stirring a little, I'd like to invite you to something special.
🎉 Join me for a FREE online workshop on Natural Family Planning! 🎉 🗓️ Weds. July 30th 🕖 9:00 PM EST/ 7:00 PM MT
📍 Online – join from wherever you are
💬 Live Q&A + personal stories + practical tips
This is for:
Engaged couples preparing for marriage
Married couples struggling to make NFP work
Curious Catholics who want to understand the Church’s teaching
Anyone feeling conflicted, confused, or discouraged
I'm not here to condemn. I'm here to accompany. To support you. To walk this journey with you.
Your Journal Question
Before we go, I want to leave you with a journal question.
Take it to prayer.
Be honest with yourself and with the Lord.
And if it stirs something big, don’t be afraid to reach out. That’s what I’m here for.
📝 Journal Prompt:
In what ways has practicing NFP revealed what true freedom means in my marriage?
Write it out. Pray through it. Talk about it with your spouse. This is how transformation begins.
Marriage is hard. Fertility can be confusing. But friends, this is holy ground. And you are not alone.
Let’s walk together. With love and freedom, Mama Jane