Hey there! If you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “Is Natural Family Planning really just Catholic contraception?”—you’re not alone. This question comes up a lot. And I get it. From the outside, it can seem like we’re just replacing a pill with a chart and calling it holy. But let’s take a deeper look, because what’s going on in the heart makes all the difference.
I’ve taught Natural Family Planning for years. I’m not new to this conversation—I've lived it. My husband, Steve, and I didn’t start out understanding NFP, and we certainly didn’t begin our marriage practicing it.
But when we discovered it, we realized it wasn’t just a set of rules—it was a path toward communication, holiness, and intimacy with each other and with the Lord.
Let me be clear: NFP is not contraception.
The Church teaches that contraception separates love from life.
It deliberately renders the marital act infertile—using pills, devices, or surgery to block God’s creative power. That’s not what NFP is. In fact, the Church calls contraception intrinsically disordered because it contradicts the very purpose of our reproductive system—communion and creation.
How Is NFP Different?
But NFP? It cooperates with the woman’s natural cycle. It’s about listening, observing, and discerning together as a couple. There’s nothing artificial about it. And it invites us to ask, each and every month: “Are we open to life right now?” That monthly check-in opens the door to deep spiritual and emotional conversations most couples never have.
(And the beauty of NFP is you CAN change your mind in the middle of the month!)
Using NFP With A Contraceptive Mindset
Now, here's the tricky part. Can NFP become a contraceptive mindset if we’re not careful? Yes, it can.
If we use it only out of fear—fear of what another child might cost us, fear of disruption, fear of God’s plan—we can easily slip into what people call “Catholic contraception.”
That’s why the intention behind how we use NFP matters just as much as what we use. When we chart with a heart closed to God, we may be using a licit method, but with a disordered mindset.
NFP With God's Mindset
So what does it look like to use NFP with an open heart?
💬 It looks like honest conversations with your spouse about one another’s health, emotions, finances, and fears.
🙏 It looks like praying together, even when the answer is, “Lord, not yet. But we trust You.”
💗 It looks like offering your desires to the Lord when your fertile time and your desire for intimacy collide—and choosing to love in other ways.
A Conversion Story
I’ll never forget a couple I worked with who got pregnant during a time they were trying to avoid it. The wife was furious—exhausted, overwhelmed, and certain that another baby was a mistake. And I let her vent. I listened, and then I gently reminded her: “God doesn’t make mistakes.”
That child brought so much unexpected grace. They ended up paying off debts, healing emotional wounds, and growing stronger as a couple.
By the time that baby was born, she looked at me and said, “We were wrong. This baby was the greatest gift.”
Trusting God with Our Family Planning
Brothers and Sisters, God sees what we cannot. NFP invites us to trust Him in a way that contraception never can. It forms our hearts, shapes our marriages, and challenges our selfishness. And yes—it’s hard. But it’s the kind of hard that makes you holy.
You might be in a season right now where intimacy feels complicated.
Perhaps you're struggling with feelings of resentment or fear.
Maybe you're using contraception and you're feeling a tug from the Holy Spirit, but don’t know what to do next.
I want you to know something: you are not alone.
I am not here to condemn.
I am here to invite you into something deeper.
If you're wrestling with these emotions, unsure how to talk about this with your husband, or feeling like no one else gets it—I’m here.
Let’s talk.
No pressure, no preaching—just a heart-to-heart about where you are and how God might be inviting you into something more beautiful, more trusting, and more joyful in your marriage and fertility journey.
Whether you’re confused, frustrated, curious, or hopeful—this is a safe space.
NFP Is Fertility and Faith
Because the truth is, NFP isn’t just about fertility—it’s about faith. It’s not just a method—it’s a mindset of openness, surrender, and love. And it’s not just for “perfect” Catholic couples—it’s for all of us trying to walk this road with courage and grace.
Journal Prompt 🖊️
What is the intention behind our use of Natural Family Planning—and how is God inviting us to trust Him more?
Take it to your journal—or better yet, bring it up with your spouse. Sometimes a simple question can start a beautiful conversation.
With love and truth, Mama Jane 💜